At the end of the shopping street
for people who look like
they do in the magazines
there’s a blonde marching in place waiting
for the light to turn green.
She is not running per se, rather
she’s hinting at running.
Selling it, the way
Charlize Theron sells
a night to remember in a perfume commercial
with next to nothing for evidence.
Me, a tired mother,
and a tennis player with wet hair
Sometimes I
feel that I am
a
bad
Black
girl
because whenever
my white girlfriend
and I sift through
Netflix
Prime Video
or anything
with a reasonable trial
period
and she says “let’s
watch this
movie or that”
featuring Black stories
I instead
elect to watch a white
narrative
because it’s nice
to forget
about
racism
and the teacher
who called me
a monkey
and
the no one
who called him
As soon as she hands you the gift
you know it’s another one
“Trans Life Survivors”
says the cover
“Merry Christmas!”
says your sister
you have only been using
they/them pronouns
in private
for a year or so
it’ll look so beautiful next to
the ex-gay book
your other sister presented to you
on your birthday last month
At family dinner you
spend bathroom breaks in your
childhood bedroom
five in total
I have a friend
who is so mad
at the pandemic
that he went on
a six-day crack bender
just to prove it
“I’ve deleted the numbers
of all my dealers as well as the
man who changed my mind”
he tells me
His eyes reflect a me
judging him for him
and I am
I have deleted numbers
deleted apps
food
versions of my
self
myself
“Also I saw your
Steer clear of Adidas; obtain a degree in Dutch language and literature; wear my aunt’s glasses until I eventually need my own prescription; don’t eat fried chicken; proclaim I’m a fan of Michel Houellebecq; don’t go to a black hair salon; enrol in theological seminary; don’t listen to RnB; date a person blacker than me; date a person whiter than me; don’t eat watermelon; say I’m ‘accidentally black’ because my mother met my father while on vacation and I missed by only an inch the opportunity to be born to a white father who was a doctor, by the way; eat bananas only after I cut them into bite-size chunks that I eat with a fork, just to make sure I don’t remind anyone of a monkey; don’t listen to rap music; learn difficult words.